All mothers have intuition. Great mothers have radar.

Aftr robbing d Bank, robber 2 clerk: Did u see me
robbing? Clerk: Yes. Robber shot him dead & asked d
next clerk: Did u? 2nd clerk: No, But my wife saw u!

A Child Never Seen His Hips. One Day His Teacher Hit
Him Hard On His Hips. He Come To Home & See In The
Mirror & Say Kamini Ne Do Tukde Kar Diye

Gang of Santa-Banta broke a bank, but instead of cash
they find bottles of chilled red wine... happily they
drink and left next day headline ~ Braking News ~
"Blood Bank Robbed"

What is diffrence between problem & talent? 2 boys
love 1 girl= problem! 1 boy love 2 girls= talent

Q: What is the difference b/w secretary & private
secretary? Ans: Secretary says GOOD MORNING SIR &
Private secretary says ITS MORNING SIR

Once SANTA saw a very sexy lady in da market and
thought- Kash ye meri MAA hoti to main b itna sundar
hota !!!!!

A GIRL CHECKS HER WEIGHT =58KG . REMOVES CHAPEL =56.
THEN DUPATTA=52 NOW COINS FINISHED....... . . . . A
BOY IN A Q BEHIND HER SAID Ü CARRY ON"", I HAVE
COINS!

Wife - Ek baat bolu maarna mat. Husband - Bolo. Wife
- I am pregnant. Husband - Yeh to khushi ki baat hai.
Wife - College me ek baar papa ko batai thi to bahut
maara tha.

A Secretary came angrily out of boss cabin colleague
asked- Wt happened?? She replied:He asked me r u free
2nit? I said-yes & bas**rd gave m 50 pages of
work....

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they
quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work
in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA
scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop
a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down,
underwater, on almost any surface including glass and
at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300°C.
The Russians used a pencil.

Santa Singh died and went to heaven. When he got to
the pearly gate Saint Peter told him that new rules
were in effect due to the advances in education on
earth. In order to gain admittance a prospective
heavenly soul must answer two questions: 1. Name two
days of the week that begin with "T". 2. How many
seconds are there in a year? Santa thought for a few
minutes and answered... 1. The two days of the week
that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow. 2. There
are 12 seconds in a year. Saint Peter said, "OK, I'll
buy the Today and Tomorrow, even though it's not the
answer I expected, so your answer is correct. But how
did you get only 12 seconds in a year?" Santa
replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd,March 2nd,
etc...." Saint Peter lets him in without another
word....

A mathematician and an engineer are sitting next to
each other on a long flight. The mathematician leans
over to the engineer and asks if he would like to
play a fun game. The engineer just wants to take a
nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the
window to catch a few winks. The mathematician
persists and explains that the game is real easy and
lots of fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and
if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5. Then you
ask me a question, and if I don't know the answer,
I'll pay you $5." Again, the engineer politely
declines and tries to get to sleep. The
mathematician, now somewhat agitated, says, "Okay, if
you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and if I
don't know the answer, I'll pay you $50!" This
catches the engineer's attention, and he sees no end
to this torment unless he plays, so he agrees to the
game. The mathematician asks the first question.
"What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The
engineer doesn't say a word, but reaches into his
wallet, pulls out a five-dollar bill and hands it to
the mathematician Now, it's the engineer's turn. He
asks the mathematician "What goes up a hill with
three legs and comes down on four?" The mathematician
looks up at him with a puzzled look. He takes out his
laptop computer and searches all of his references.
He taps into the air phone with his modem and
searches the net and the Library of Congress.
Frustrated, he sends e-mail to his co-workers all to
no avail. After about an hour, he wakes the engineer
and hands him $50. The engineer politely takes the
$50 and turns away to try to get back to sleep. The
mathematician then hits the engineer, saying, "What
goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down on
four?" The engineer calmly pulls out his wallet,
hands the mathematician five bucks, and goes back to
sleep.your joke here!!

The more u study The more u learn The more u learn
the more u know The more u know the more u forget The
more u forget the less u know So why learn so much

Two cowboy ranchers in Texas, they each had their own
horse, but they could never tell them apart. So the
first cowboy said, "I've got it!" The second cowboy
said "What?" "I'll shave the main on my horse." Let's
do it!" So the cowboy shaves the main on his horse.
But after a while the main grew back. The cowboys are
having a really hard time telling them apart. Then
the one cowboy said, "I've got it! "What? What?
What's your idea now? says the other" "I'll cut the
tail on my horse really small.." "Alright! Let's do
it!" So he cut the tail really short. But after a
while it grew back. "Then the second cowboy said,
"OK, this time I've got it!" You take the black one
and I'll take white one!!!!"