The more u study The more u learn The more u learn
the more u know The more u know the more u forget The
more u forget the less u know So why learn so much

Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and
later kills you with his bills. Boss : Someone who is
early when you are late and late when you are early.
Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will
power is defeated by feminine water power. Atom Bomb
: An invention to end all inventions. Rumour : News
that travels more than the speed of sound. Classic :
A book which people praise, but do not read.
Dictionary : The only place where divorce comes
before marriage. Marriage : It's an agreement in
which a man loses his bachelors degree and woman
gains her masters. Father : A banker provided by
nature. Politician : One who shakes your hand before
elections and your confidence after. Smile : A curve
that can set a lot of things straight. Diplomat : A
person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that
you actually look forward to the trip. Etc : A sign
to make others believe that you know more than you
actually do. Committee : Individuals who can do
nothing individually, sit to decide that nothing can
be done together. IT Professional : One who is paid
for sending and receiving such Emails! Cigarette : A
pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end
& a fool at the other. Love affairs : Something like
cricket where one-day internationals are more popular
than a five day test. Divorce : Future tense of
marriage. Lecture : An art of transferring
information from the notes of the lecturer to the
notes of the students without passing through "the
minds of either". Conference : The confusion of one
man multiplied by the number present. Compromise :
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that
everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Conference Room : A place where everybody talks,
nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.
Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to
feel a feeling you have never felt before. Classic :
A book which people praise, but do not read. Smile :
A curve that can set a lot of things straight. Office
: A place where you can relax after your strenuous
home life. Yawn : The only time some married men ever
get to open their mouth. Committee: Individuals who
can do nothing individually and sit to decide that
nothing can be done together. Experience : The name
men give to their mistakes. Philosopher : A fool who
torments himself during life, to be spoken of when
dead. Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath
if he accidentally falls into a river. Optimist : A
person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in
midway "See I am not injured yet." Pessimist :- A
person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO,
Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.
Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die
rich. Criminal : A guy no different from the rest...
except that he got caught. Politician : One who
shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence
after. Employee : One who gets paid for reading such
mails...... ETC: End of thinking capacity.

A CHRISTIAN DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. You keep one
and give one to your neighbor. A SOCIALIST: You have
two cows. The government takes one and gives it to
your neighbor. AN AMERICAN REPUBLICAN: You have two
cows. Your neighbor has none. So what? AN AMERICAN
DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people
into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell
one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you
voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and
give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous. A
COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes
both and provides you with milk. A FASCIST: You have
two cows. The government seizes both and sells you
the milk. You join the underground and start a
campaign of sabotage. DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You
have two cows. The government taxes you to the point
you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign
country who has only one cow, which was a gift from
your government. CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have
two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd
of cows. BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two
cows. The government takes them both, shoots one,
milks the other, pays you for the milk, then pours
the milk down the drain. AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You
have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to
produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when
the cow drops dead. A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have
two cows. You go on strike because you want three
cows. A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You
redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an
ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You
then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon
and market them World-Wide. A GERMAN CORPORATION: You
have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for
100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves. A
BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. They are mad.
They die. Pass the shepherd's pie, please. AN ITALIAN
CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don't know
where they are. You break for lunch. A RUSSIAN
CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and
learn you have five cows. You count them again and
learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and
learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and
open another bottle of vodka. A SWISS CORPORATION:
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You
charge others for storing them. A BRAZILIAN
CORPORATION: You have two cows. You enter into a
partnership with an American corporation. Soon you
have 1000 cows and the American corporation declares
bankruptcy. AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows.
You worship both of them. A CHINESE CORPORATION: You
have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You
claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and
arrest the newsman who reported on them. AN ISRAELI
CORPORATION: There are these two Jewish cows, right?
They open a milk factory, an ice cream store, and
then sell the movie rights. They send their calves to
Harvard to become doctors. So, who needs people? AN
ARKANSAS CORPORATION: You have two cows. That one on
the left is kinda cute. PS:No offence to anyone.

1. The Female always makes The Rules. 2. The Rules
are subject to change at any time without prior
notification. 3. No Male can possibly know all The
Rules. 4. If the Female suspects the Male knows all
The Rules, she must immediately change some or all of
The Rules. 5. The Female is never wrong. 6. (If the
Female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant
misunderstanding which was a direct result of
something the Male did or said wrong.) 7. (If Rule 6
applies, the Male must apologize immediately for
causing the misunderstanding.) 8. The Female can
change her mind at any given point in time. 9. The
Male must never change his mind without express
written consent from the Female. 10. The Female has
every right to be angry or upset at any time. 11. The
Male must remain calm at all times, unless the Female
Wants him to be angry or upset. 12. The Female must
under no circumstances let the Male know whether or
not she wants him to be angry or upset. 13. The Male
is expected to mind read at all times. 14. The Male
who doesn't abide by The Rules, can't take the heat,
lacks a backbone, and is a wimp. 15. Any attempt to
document The Rules could result in bodily harm. 16.
At no time can the Male make such comments as
"Insignificant" and "Is that all?" when the Female is
complaining. 17. If the Female has PMS, all The Rules
are null and void!

1. Bicycles don't get pregnant. 2. You can ride your
bicycle any time of the month. 3. Bicycles don't have
parents. 4. Bicycles don't whine unless something is
really wrong. 5. You can share your bicycles with
your friends. 6. Bicycles don't care how many other
bicycles you've ridden. 7. When riding, you and your
bicycle can arrive at the same time. 8. Bicycles
don't care how many other bicycles you have now. 9.
Bicycles don't care if you look at other bicycles.
10.Bicycles don't care if you buy bicycle magazines.
11.You'll never hear, "Surprise, you're going to own
a new bicycle" unless you go out and buy one
yourself. 12.If your bicycle goes flat, you can fix
it. 13.If your bicycle is too loose, you can tighten
it. 14.If your bicycle gets misaligned, you don't
have to discuss politics with it. 15.You can have a
black bicycle and bring it home to your parents.
16.You don't have to be jealous of the guy who works
on your bicycle. 17.If you say bad things to your
bicycle, you don't have to apologize before you ride
it again. 18.You can ride your bicycle as long as you
want and it wont get sore. 19.You can stop riding
your bicycle as soon as you want and it wont get
frustrated. 20.Your parents wont remain in touch with
your old bicycle after you dump it. 21.Bicycles don't
get headaches. 22.Bicycles don't insult you if you're
a bad rider. 23.Your bicycle never wants a night out
with other bicycles. 24.Bicycles don't care if you're
late. 25.You don't have to take a shower before you
ride your bicycle. 26.If your bicycle doesn't look
good, you can paint it or get better parts. 27.You
can ride your bicycle the first time you meet it
without having to take it to dinner, see a movie, or
meet its mother. 28.The only protection you need to
wear when riding your bicycle is a decent helmet.
29.When in mixed company, you can talk about what a
great ride you had the last time you were on your
bicycle

1. Girls are like an internet virus: they enter your
life, scan your pockets, transfer money, edit your
mind, download their problems and delete your smile..
2. Girls are like phones, they like to be held and
talked too, but if you press the wrong button you'll
be disconnected! ..... 3. Q: What is the difference
between a wife and a girlfriend? A: About 45 pounds!!
4. WOMAN: The most efficient money reducing agent
known to man-kind!... 5. What do you say to a woman
with 2 black eyes? You don't, you've told her twice
already!... 6. What is the thinnest book in the
world? What Men Know About Women... 7. A successful
man is one who makes more money than his wife can
spend... 8. God made man and then rested. God made
women and then no one rested 9. What is the
difference between a woman and a magnet? Magnets have
a positive side!.... 10. He met a lady while
browsing. She unzipped his dotcom when downloading.
Since he was virus free he slotted his floppy disk
into her hotmail she screamed yahoo! 11. 99.99%
accidents are caused by women...firstly when they get
confused...they press gas instead of
breaks....secondly when they wear hot clothes...men r
too busy checking them out.... 12. All galz say i am
not like other galz "I am different" (all r same)...
13. If a gal says she has told no one the secret....u
should assume she has already told to her best
friend.

Q. Why only 10% of women go to heaven after death? A.
If all of them go heaven would turn out to be a hell.

A woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball
into the woods. She went into the woods to look for
it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her,
"If you release me from this trap, I will grant you
three wishes." The woman freed the frog, and the frog
said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there
was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish
for, your husband will get ten times more or better!"
The woman said, "That's okay." For her first wish,
she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the
world. The frog warned her, "You do realize that this
wish will also make your husband the most handsome
man in the world, an Adonis who women will flock to."
The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be
the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only
for me." So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful woman in
the world! For her second wish, she wanted to be the
richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will
make your husband the richest man in the world and he
will be ten times richer than you." The woman said,
"That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's
his is mine." So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in
the world! The frog then inquired about her third
wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart
attack." Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't
mess with them. Attention female readers: This is the
end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue
feeling good. Male readers: Please scroll down. = = =
= = = The man had a heart attack ten times milder
than his wife!!! Moral of the story: Women are really
dumb but think they're really smart. Let them
continue to think that way and just enjoy the show

A nun hails a cab in New York and as soon as she gets
in, she notices that the driver is staring at her in
his rearview mirror. "Can I help you, son?" the nun
asks. "No," the driver says hesitantly. "What I'm
thinking about would just upset you." "Oh dear," the
nun says. "I've heard many different things in my
life. I'm sure nothing you say will upset me."
"Well," he says. "I've got to be honest: I've always
dreamed about kissing a nun." The nun looks puzzled
for a second, then says, "Well, my son. I could let
you kiss me but there are two requirements. First,
you must not be married. Second, you have to be
Catholic." The taxi driver breathes a sigh of relief
as he pulls over to the side of the road. "Great! I'm
single and I'm Catholic." The driver and the nun both
exit the taxi, and then they kiss. As they get back
into the cab, the nun notices the driver crying. "My
son, what's wrong?" "I'm so sorry," he says. "I have
to admit: I'm a Presbyterian, and I'm married." The
nun says, "My son, that's all right. My name is
Harry, and I'm on my way to a costume party."

WELCOME To www.human.com Type password * ** *** ****
New Member: U r welcome Processing: Denied! Sorry u r
not human. Try www.monkey.com

For tooth paste ad they r showing teeth For hair
oil-hair For face cream-face But for whisper ad they
r not showing anything....''JAGO GRAHAK JAGO''

Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should
we do? Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2
minutes.

Beauty is not how you look, it is not how handsome u
r, it is not ur figure too... Beauty is the inner
self, so change ur underwear daily.

girls are like an internet virus, they enter ur life,
scan ur poket , transfer ur money, edit ur mind,
download their problems delete ur smiles and hang u
for ever

Gud morning.... If u dont hv a GF/BF, dont hv a nice
job. Dont like 2 party & dancing, just hv a boring
life, den dont worry just log on to www.heybhagwan
uthale.com