A man hasn't been feling well, so he goes to his
doctor for a complete checkup. Afterward the doctor
comes out with the results. "I'm afraid I have some
very bad news," the doctor says. "You're dying, and
you don't have much time left." "Oh, that's
terrible!" says the man. "How long have I got?"
"Ten," the doctor says sadly. "Ten?" the man asks.
"Ten what? Months? Weeks? What?!" "Nine..."

Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news.
Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news
first. Doctor: The lab called with your test results.
They said you have 24 hours to live. Patient: 24
hours! That's terrible! What could be worse? What's
the very bad news? Doctor: I've been trying to reach
you since yesterday.

Baniye ki wife bimaar thi, light na hone ki wajah se
usne candle jala di Aur bola: Doc ko lene jaa raha
hun, agar tumhe lage ki tum nahin bachogi to plz
candle bujha dena

 Once upon a time there was an elderly gentleman that
was suffering from Alzheimer's. His wife of 40 years
loved him very much, but she couldn't handle him any
longer. He would wander about never knowing where he
was or sometimes even who he was. She took him to a
nursing home. At the nursing home, while the wife was
filling out paperwork, a nurse had the gentleman sit
in a chair. Suddenly the man started slowly leaning
to his left. The nurse ran over and put a pillow on
his left side to prop him up. A few minutes later, he
started leaning to his right. Again, the nurse ran
over and put a pillow on his right side. Then he
starting leaning forward. This time, the nurse
strapped him into the chair. About this time, his
wife, having completed the paperwork, walked up to
him and asked, "How do you like the place?" "It's
okay," he said, "but they won't let me fart."

Dermatologist: Good News my dear, aftr looking
through your test results I'm happy to report you
will no longer be plagued by pimples. Girl: Wow!
That's great! Why? Dermatologist: There's no more
space.