All mothers have intuition. Great mothers have radar.

Aftr robbing d Bank, robber 2 clerk: Did u see me
robbing? Clerk: Yes. Robber shot him dead & asked d
next clerk: Did u? 2nd clerk: No, But my wife saw u!

A Child Never Seen His Hips. One Day His Teacher Hit
Him Hard On His Hips. He Come To Home & See In The
Mirror & Say Kamini Ne Do Tukde Kar Diye

What is diffrence between problem & talent? 2 boys
love 1 girl= problem! 1 boy love 2 girls= talent

Q: What is the difference b/w secretary & private
secretary? Ans: Secretary says GOOD MORNING SIR &
Private secretary says ITS MORNING SIR

Wife - Ek baat bolu maarna mat. Husband - Bolo. Wife
- I am pregnant. Husband - Yeh to khushi ki baat hai.
Wife - College me ek baar papa ko batai thi to bahut
maara tha.

A Secretary came angrily out of boss cabin colleague
asked- Wt happened?? She replied:He asked me r u free
2nit? I said-yes & bas**rd gave m 50 pages of
work....

A mathematician and an engineer are sitting next to
each other on a long flight. The mathematician leans
over to the engineer and asks if he would like to
play a fun game. The engineer just wants to take a
nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the
window to catch a few winks. The mathematician
persists and explains that the game is real easy and
lots of fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and
if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5. Then you
ask me a question, and if I don't know the answer,
I'll pay you $5." Again, the engineer politely
declines and tries to get to sleep. The
mathematician, now somewhat agitated, says, "Okay, if
you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and if I
don't know the answer, I'll pay you $50!" This
catches the engineer's attention, and he sees no end
to this torment unless he plays, so he agrees to the
game. The mathematician asks the first question.
"What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The
engineer doesn't say a word, but reaches into his
wallet, pulls out a five-dollar bill and hands it to
the mathematician Now, it's the engineer's turn. He
asks the mathematician "What goes up a hill with
three legs and comes down on four?" The mathematician
looks up at him with a puzzled look. He takes out his
laptop computer and searches all of his references.
He taps into the air phone with his modem and
searches the net and the Library of Congress.
Frustrated, he sends e-mail to his co-workers all to
no avail. After about an hour, he wakes the engineer
and hands him $50. The engineer politely takes the
$50 and turns away to try to get back to sleep. The
mathematician then hits the engineer, saying, "What
goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down on
four?" The engineer calmly pulls out his wallet,
hands the mathematician five bucks, and goes back to
sleep.your joke here!!

Two cowboy ranchers in Texas, they each had their own
horse, but they could never tell them apart. So the
first cowboy said, "I've got it!" The second cowboy
said "What?" "I'll shave the main on my horse." Let's
do it!" So the cowboy shaves the main on his horse.
But after a while the main grew back. The cowboys are
having a really hard time telling them apart. Then
the one cowboy said, "I've got it! "What? What?
What's your idea now? says the other" "I'll cut the
tail on my horse really small.." "Alright! Let's do
it!" So he cut the tail really short. But after a
while it grew back. "Then the second cowboy said,
"OK, this time I've got it!" You take the black one
and I'll take white one!!!!"

Mari got married and had 9 children. Soon after the
last child was born her husband died. After some
months, she remarried and with him, she had another
11 children. Then as Maria died of old age, people
gather at her funeral. The priest looked at Maria and
said, "At least, they're finally together." A man
standing next to the priest asked, "Excuse me, but do
you mean Maria and her first husband, or Maria and
her second husband?" The priest says, "I mean her
legs."

A young woman teacher with obvious liberal tendencies
explains to her class of small children that she is
an atheist. She asks her class if they are atheists
too. Not really knowing what atheism is but wanting
to be like their teacher, their hands explode into
the air like fleshy fireworks. There is, however, one
exception. A beautiful girl named Lucy has not gone
along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she
has decided to be different. "Because I'm not an
atheist." Then, asks the teacher, "What are you?"
"I'm a Christian." The teacher is a little perturbed
now, her face slightly red. She asks Lucy why she is
a Christian. "Well, I was brought up knowing and
loving Jesus. My mom is a Christian, and my dad is a
Christian, so I am a Christian." The teacher is now
angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if
your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What
would you be then?" She paused, and smiled. "Then,"
says Lucy, "I'd be an atheist."

A lawyer died and was delivered into the devil's
hands. "You will be spending eternity here, but I'll
let you pick your own room from three I'll show you,"
the devil said. In the first room were thousands of
people standing on their heads on a brick floor. "I
don't like that," said the man. "Show me the second."
In the second room were thousands of people standing
on their heads on a wood floor. "Well, that's better
than brick," the man said, "but show me the third."
In the third, thousands of people were standing
ankle-deep in a room full of maggot infested garbage,
all drinking coffee. "I'll choose this room," he
said. Into the room he went and the door slammed
behind him. Immediately, the voice of a minor demon
rang out, "OK, coffee break is over, back on your
heads."

A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball
into the woods. She went into the woods to look for
it, and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her,
"If you release me from this trap, I will grant you 3
wishes." The woman freed the frog and the frog said,
"Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a
condition to your wishes. What ever you wish for,
your husband will get 10 times more or better!" The
woman said, "That would be okay," and for her first
wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in
the world. The frog warned her, "You do realize that
this wish will also make your husband the most
handsome man in the world, an Adonis, that women will
flock too." The woman replied, "That will be okay
because I will be the most beautiful woman, and he
will only have eyes for me." So, KAZAM - she's the
most beautiful woman in the world! For her second
wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the
world. The frog said, "That will make your husband
the richest man in the world, and he will be ten
times richer than you." The woman said, "That will be
okay because what is mine is his, and what is his is
mine." So, KAZAM she's the richest woman in the
world! The frog then inquired about her third wish,
and she answered: "I'd like a mild heart attack."

Friend 1- tumhe kaisi biwi chahiye? Friend 2- Gungi

A blind man walks into a store with his seeing eye
dog. All of a sudden, he picks up the leash and
begins swinging the dog over his head. The manager
runs up to the man and asks, "What are you doing?!!"
The blind man replies, "Just looking around."